no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
