great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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