If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
