yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
