I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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