What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
