Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
