Define "chronic" masturbator.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
