i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
