Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
