the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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