I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
