That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
