Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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