we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
whose parrot is this?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
