I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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