I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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