just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
