Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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