Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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