I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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