I hate your face
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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