We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I came so hard my ears popped.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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