This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
