five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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