some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
