somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
