i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
