every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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