i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
