I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
