CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
