I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
