That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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