everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
