He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
