Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Damn victory sex feels great
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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