I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
