he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
