There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
