I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
