we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
