let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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