BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
