I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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