escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
