I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
