yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
