why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
