If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The air was thick with penises
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
