babies were throwing up all over the place
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
