So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
